The LA Kings 2013 Style Guide
By Alex Cave
Lately I’ve felt one of the most asinine things the internet has produced over the past decade is the style guide. For the past couple years, every time a music festival rolls around in Southern California, various media outlets feel the need to produce a “Coachella Style Guide” two weeks before the event. In my opinion, if you don’t leave a music festival covered in dirt, sweat, beer and a little blood, you’re doing it wrong.
But I digress. With the season just weeks away, a season where the Kings finally get their coveted outdoor game, I figured now is the time we make our own style guide.
Buying a jersey is an important time in one’s life. What era do I buy? Who’s number do I represent? Should I get this personalized? The possibilities are literally endless.
Part 1 – The Era
First off, we must choose the era you’re going to wear. Since the Kings have gone through several design changes in their 46 year existence, this is not an easy decision. Fortunately, we’ve helped break down the decision for you…
- The Hipster: Chances are, you weren’t around for the King’s inaugural 1967 season. Bonus points if you still listen to records on vinyl.
- The Dre: Named after the King’s best celebrity endorsement, NWA (sorry, Matthew Perry). This design is a staple in the hip hop community, and is my personal favorite. Childhood nostalgia.
- The Thift store: Ugly. These can be most commonly found at Goodwill with the Halloween costumes. I think of this as the dark ages of Los Angeles Kings jersey design.
- The Champ: Bonus points if you can find one with the Stanley Cup final patch.
- The fashionable Dad: this jersey is usually sported by the long haired Dad’s who still know how to party. Also, Jim Fox.
- The Legend: You sexy beast, you.
Next, lets breakdown the player decision. Choosing the right player is nearly as important as getting the era right. If done wrong, your player will get traded away before the season’s done. I almost feel bad for all those suckers with a Jack Johnson jersey. Anyhow, this can be broken down into a few categories:
- The Star Player: Or in the Kings current sense, the Core. This applies to Brown, Kopitar, Richards, Carter, Doughty, and Quick. I also hope to move Voynov into this category over the coming season. This is always safe bet. You won’t be the only one at Staples center with this Jersey, but it’s a safe bet that makes the jersey buying process easy.
- The Hall of Famer: This is better suited for throwback jerseys for obvious reasons. Easy for those who have that one favorite player from a prior decade. This might seem as an easy decision, however things can get awkward if you decide to go with the McSorley or Blake jersey.
- The Indie Hero: Generally for those who like to make a statement that they know the team better than everyone else. Matt Greene, Wayne Simmonds, Charlie Simmer, Lubomir Visnovsky, etc. These jerseys are best suited for the fan that prefers to stand out, and enjoys being let down (ref: see Kings history, pre-2012).
- The Novelty: For anyone who would find enjoyment in a Gretzky-St. Louis Blues jersey. These people really like to stand out.
- The Clown: anyone who owns a Sean Avery jersey. Generally for those who like to start fights.
- The One Timer: Jagr. I know I know, he’s never played for the Kings. But there is always hope.
- You’re the Star: For those who decide to customize their jersey. Please note, this will get you internet famous if you play your cards right.
The last and final part… HOME or AWAY?!?! Pepsi or Coke, Ford or Chevy. This choice is based mostly on preference, but also depends on the era of the jersey. In my opinion, I love the yellow throwbacks, but despise the Gretzky-era whites. Keep in mind, those beer stains don’t come out easy if you choose a light color. For those with absolutely no taste whatsoever, the Kings also produce a pink option for the ladies, and a green option for the Irish.
With that, I think we have all your fashion choices covered. Stay stunning out there, Kings fans.